High-maintenance people wear me out. me in resisting demanding, overly needy, selfish people. Here are some characteristics of high-maintenance people HMP that should cause your crap-detector to peak.
Tough-love may be the answer. For sure, as long as you allow them to be high-maintenance, they will be. This essay is spot on! It is loving to help others, but not enable them. If someone always has a problem, but no resolution and fails to see how they, too, contributed to the situation—BEWARE!
Marcy, thanks for commenting. This could be your best essay ever! I am right with you on this, Don. Especially as I get older. Christians, and seem to expect an abundance of time meeting their perceived needs. I am in awe of you pastors who have to figure a way to balance compassion with indulgence with sometimes hundreds and even thousands of people. Thanks for reminding me of a proper perspective concerning this matter. Paul, thanks for sharing keen insight. Not so. I value our friendship. To me high maintenance people seem to be insecure and narcissistic to the extreme.
I also find them to lack class, especially when they open their mouth and show how really uneducated they are. The only ones that supposed, by nature, to be high maintenance are kids as they depend on you what is a high maintenance person parent. But adults when they are high maintenance they are nothing but immature and narcissistic.
Hint: it’s not you, it’s them.
In fact they behave more like spoiled children rather than adults. There is a huge difference between how they see themselves royalty and what they really are no class and vulgar. Pat, I agree with you. We should all mature out of being self-indulgent and high-maintenance. Thanks for writing.
People who have bad stories often are abused and have a form of PTSD. This essay suggests that they are responsible for their condition. I can tell you, they are not. One may not wish to spend time with them or even to help them, but the attitude in this article could produce insanity. No one wants to be a negative intentionally. Carol, I do not consider anyone who has special needs as inordinately high maintenance. Thanks for taking the time to share your thoughts. There are many handicaps that are not visible. And the lack of education has nothing to do with high maintenance.
There is no charity that I can see in any of these answers. Sometimes, people say something similar what is a high maintenance person me. I have worked since the age of 13 to try to follow Jesus, learn to be like Him, love others which many say I do, and that I have a big heartand I know people misinterpret my reasons for acting in ways they think are peculiar.
Saying they are needy really tells it all. Carol, thanks for writing. My definition of a high-maintenance person is one who intentionally, inordinately, and unnecessarily seeks and demands attention, usually in a drama-filled manner. I am not referring to those with special needs, or those who struggle with illness.
I hope this helps. I struggle with it and beat myself up for it on a very regular basis. Carol, if you get notified of this comment, please reach out. Should be easy enough to find me on Facebook, but I could really use some help. Alisha, thanks for responding. I am truly saddened by your struggles.
17 s you're a "high-maintenance" partner
I hope you can find relief. My response to you is the same I wrote to Carol. My post addressed people who are intentionally high-maintenance; they know exactly what they are doing and could control their behavior. We all have unproductive behaviors-I struggle with impatience-but we can be aware of them and try to mitigate them.
Emotionally they are so draining. I want to love them well but be firm. How exactly do I do that? Vicki, you ask a good question. You must set boundaries and kindly enforce them. HMP will continue to be so as long as you let them.
20 replies to “don’t be high-maintenance or tolerate those who are”
Thanks for responding to the post. Notify me of followup comments via e-mail. You can also subscribe without commenting. Excessive and insatiable emotional needs. We all have legitimate emotional needs attention, encouragement, comfort, respect, etc. But some people are excessive in their neediness and are never satisfied. Their neediness is like a relational black hole that sucks all the light and energy out of relationships. Extremely picky and hard to please.
It takes them two hours to make it through the cafeteria line because they are micro-processing all the options. Their indecision adversely affects those around them. Instead of owning a pleasant, positive outlook on life, HMPs often reside on the dark side; their default setting is pessimism.
Unhappy and hard to please. They nurse a low-grade fever of discontent. They are uncomfortable with peace and calm; they gravitate to, or create, storms. Often, they live disordered lives and expect us to compensate. They expect their lack of planning to be our emergency. Hold grudges and keep picking the scab off old wounds. HMPs have difficulty in letting things go; they coddle hurt feelings and offenses; they would rather keep old wounds and misunderstanding alive than simply forgive.
Self-centered and self-absorbed. With apologies to Copernicus, they think they are the center of the galaxy. They act as if the world revolves around them. Lack of self-awareness. All these characteristics are exacerbated by the fact that HMPs are clueless about their annoying behaviors.